So great, one week turned into three

We have been conditioned to associate solitude with loneliness as opposed to feeling free. Solo travel drops you straight into both and looks on to see if you sink or swim.

When you finally sit in the silence and discomfort, you're forced to ask yourself the bigger questions most of us avoid: What do I actually want? Am I happy? Am I in a rut? Do I feel worthy of it all?

The hard moments: the dinners alone, the missed trains and poor navigation, the late nights with no one to call. They were invitations. Every time I felt that ache, I'd sit with it and ask: What feeling am I looking for that I can't give myself? And the answers changed everything.

Here are three things I learned during my solo travels as a young girl in my 20's that reframed my mindset, and gave me unbeknown clarity.

1: Being Alone Doesn’t Automatically Mean You’re ‘Lonely’

Everyone can learn to love solitude. You just need to expose yourself to it more. Solo travel forces you to consider what it is to really want out of life, and from yourself. But it’s full of highs and lows. The most challenging moments are often the most rewarding.

When things get tough, ask yourself … why do you feel ‘lonely’? Look at what is hiding behind that emotion. What are you looking for in someone else that you can’t already give to yourself?

Find out how you can fulfil that emotional void, and you’ll be shocked at how quickly you reach new heights without ever needing validation from others. You’ll become unstoppable!! 

2: To Succeed, You Must Start Speaking To Yourself With Kindness

How Solo Travel Exposes Your Negative Internal Narrative

Your internal voice gets amplified when no one else is around to overpower it. And if that narrative is negative and self-deprecating, it’s no wonder that you’re feeling lonely. 

How to Correct This And Start Thinking More Positively

Start intentionally separating your negative thoughts from your positive ones.

Learn to correct and reframe them as you would for a friend when they ask for your advice. E.g, switch ‘I’m not going to get this job’ and ‘I’m not smart enough’ for ‘I am so brave’ and ‘I am ready to give this opportunity everything I’ve got’ and ‘this business would be lucky to have me’.

3: You’ll Never Feel Fully Prepared For Anything. So You Must Do That Thing Anyway. 

The sooner you realise no one’s watching you or judging your every move, there is no going back. It's the ultimate mindset shift. People are too self-absorbed and preoccupied (like we are) to care that you scuffed up in an interview, tripped over that drain or made a silly mistake.

Solo travel teaches you to give yourself more grace and prioritise recovery over perfection. So please, please don’t let your life pass you by before you do what you want with it. Because you are the only person who will lose out.

If you found out you were 10 rejections away from landing your dream job, would you stop applying?

Going it alone made me realise I had been waiting for permission to live from something outside of myself. Pandering to validation from others, or waiting on friends to start the moves I was so desperate to make.

Credit of Jasmine Panayiotou | More at heroptimal.co.uk

For more women's health content covering mindset and anxiety, head to our Mental Health Blog.